Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
