No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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