My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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