He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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