words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
