I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
