question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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