I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
