DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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