but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
