Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
