Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
