remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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