Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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