sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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