Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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