Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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