Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
