if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
