I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He felt like a one man threesome
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
