I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
