dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
