This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
