Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
