But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
