she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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