Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
