OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
