he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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