so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Randomize