you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
