you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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