did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
