She just used a chaser for red wine.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
