waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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