Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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