She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
