If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
