He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize