saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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