So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize