I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
