3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
