I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
