The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
