Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize