ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
