i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
