You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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