me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
