I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
