Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I cut my penus on the lid.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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