Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
