Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
