he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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