We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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