Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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