I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
