she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My feet surprised me
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