I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
