I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
