we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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