and she was petting her beer can
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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