I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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