I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
