Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
