I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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