Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
